Imprisonment can have a profound impact on family life, particularly for children. They may have questions about where their loved one is, and when they'll be home.
There are a number or organisations who specialise in supporting families with a loved one in custody, detailed in our support organisations area.
It can be difficult to tell a child their loved one is in prison. Every family’s situation is different, and there may be circumstances in which it’s better not to tell children about it.
They may want to know where their loved one is and why. They may need reassurance that the person is safe, and that they’ll be able to see them or talk to them, if it is appropriate.
If you decide to do so, it is important to tell children the truth about where their relative has gone, even if they are very young. There are ways to explain to the child in an age-appropriate way that their loved one has gone to prison, and be honest about how long they will be gone for.
If you’re unsure about whether or how to talk to your children, it may be helpful to consult with specialist organisations such as Families Outside, who work to support families with a loved one in prison.
Families Outside websiteYou can help children by talking about their feelings. They may feel anger towards their loved one for going away, or towards police or other authority figures for taking the person away from them. If they can talk about these feelings, they’re less likely to feel overwhelmed by their emotions.
Support books
Families Outside have created a number of resources that can be used to support children and young people with a loved one in prison.
My Story was written by a young person who's parent was in prison. It describes the direct experience of a child affected by imprisonment from their point of view, and has a number of practical exercises which can help children cope with the event.
My Visit is available as a photo guide or in video format, providing a step by step breakdown of what to expect on a prison visit.
My Diary is a story book which explores common emotions and experiences of children with a parent in prison. It is also available in video format.
Maintaining and rebuilding contact
If you know which prison the child's loved one is in, you can contact the prison's Family Contact Officers (FCOs) to discuss different ways of maintaining or rebuilding contact with them. Contact numbers for FCO teams are on the individual prison pages.
Find FCO contact detailsWe understand the importance of staying in contact with siblings whilst they are in our care. There are many ways to stay in contact on our keeping in touch page.
For more information:
Sibling's Rights and Resources - Families OutdsideThe Child Impact Assessment toolkit is a free resource that provides a way to assess the impact of a parent, or primary caregiver, becoming involved in the justice system.
Child Impact Assessments are not about assessing children, rather their needs. They are not about the parent who is in contact with the justice system; instead, the focus is on the child and their feelings.
The toolkit, and its supporting framework, allows for a guided conversation with children and young people and provides an insight for anyone supporting a child into the emotions children may have, the challenges they may experience, and the actions that may help.
Learn more about Child Impact AssessmentsIf you know the establishment the person is in, you can contact them to discuss ways to maintain or rebuild contact through Family Contact Officers or the Visits team, further information can be found on our keeping in touch page.
Social Workers' Guide - Families OutsideVisiting someone in prison can be daunting for both adults and children. Seeing a parent or loved one can be a positive experience for you and your child, and maintaining contact and engagement with a parent can also help ease the feeling of separation.
Our staff work hard to create a visiting environment that is inclusive and engaging.
Children can join all visit sessions unless specified. Prisons offer various visit types for different age groups and abilities, including bonding and children's visits.
See our visits page to learn more about the visiting process, what to expect, and children’s visits.
Understandably a prison environment can be difficult for children, and particularly those with additional support needs.
We encourage you to contact the establishment's Family Contact Officers (FCOs) and prison visitor centre to discuss your individual child’s needs.
Our FCOs and visitor centre teams are there to support you, and can advise best on how to assist in maintaining contact and visiting.
Children rights are set out in the UN Convention on the rights of the child or (UNCRC). These are rights are specifically for everyone under 18 years old.